the subject matter....

why do we find it difficult to talk about love?
to express it?
to write it?

love is not a subject that can be readily discussed in any type of intellectual manner. we don't normally talk about love like we talk about other subjects. i think this is because love is not a noun. love is a verb. when you and i try to talk about love as a commodity, we cant quite grasp it. but when experience love, when we recieve it..well..we know it.

Gandhi once said..
" there is no love where there is no will"

Love is not just a feeling or an attitude. love is an action. love reaches out, steps out, speaks out, cries out and sometimes holds out. Love peservers because that is our desire.
like a waterfall, love is always moving. it is not stagnant like a pond. ironically, the more love we try to hoard for ourselves, the less we receive. the more love we give away, the more we find

alone...

To be less lonely....
I came to sing my life for you....
To be less lonely....
and share the music between us....
Our loves that blaze.....
Our reasons that tremble.....
Our destinies that are so alike....
To be less lonely....
When you left the door of your place....
I was already lonely.....

pernahkah..

Pernahkah kamu merasakan...bahwa kamu mencintai seseorangmeski kamu tahu ia tak sendiri lagi..dan ...meski kamu tahu cintamu mungkin tak terbalas tapi.....kamu tetap mencintainya......

Pernahkan kamu merasakan bahawa kau sanggup melakukan apa saja demi seseorang yang kamu cintai meski kamu tahu ia takkan pernah peduli ataupun....ia peduli dan mengerti tapi...ia tetap pergi....

Pernahkah kamu merasakan....hebatnya cinta...tersenyum kala terluka..menangis kala bahagia...bersedih kala bersama...tertawa kala berpisah...Aku pernah...aku pernah tersenyum meski ku terluka kerana...ku yakin Tuhan tak menjadikannya untukku..aku pernah menangis kala bahagia kerana...ku takut kebahagiaan cinta ini kan sirna begitu saja..aku pernah bersedih kala bersamanya..kerana....ku takut kan kehilangan dia suatu saat nanti dan....aku juga pernah tertawa...saat berpisah dengannya kerana...sekali lagi cinta tak harus memiliki ...

dan....

Tuhan pasti telah menyiapkan cinta yang lain untukku.....aku tetap bisa mencintainyameski ia tak dapat ku rengkuh dalam pelukanku kerana...memang cinta ada dalam jiwa bukan dalam raga,..

semua orang pasti pernah merasakan cinta orang tua...sahabat....kekasih...dan akhirnya pasangan hidup.....

buat temanku yang sedang jatuh cintaku ucapkan selamat...kerana cinta itu sangat indah..

semoga kalian selalu bahagia...buat temanku yang sedang terluka kerana cinta...hidup itu bagaikan roda yang terus berputar satu saat akan berada di bawah dan hidup terasa begitu sulit..

tetapi...keadaan itu tidak untuk selamanya..bersabarlah dan berdoalah kerana cinta yang lain akan datang dan menghampirimu...

buat temanku yang tidak percaya akan cinta buka hatimu...jangan menutup mata akan keindahan dunia maka cinta akan membuat hidupmu menjadi bahagia...

buat temanku yang mendambakan cinta..bersabarlah...kerana cinta yang indah..tak terjadi dalam sekejap...

Tuhan sedang mempersiapkan segala yang terbaik bagimu...

buat temanku yang mempermainkan cinta...sesuatu yang begitu murni dan tulusbukanlah untuk di permainkancinta bukan suatu kehampaansmoga kalian berhenti mempermainkan cinta dan mulai merasakan kebahagiaan yang seutuhnya....

think nani think..~

1. At least 5 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you, in some way.
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you, is because they want to be just like you.
4. A smile from you, can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. Without you, someone may not be living.
8. You are special and unique, in your own way.
9. Someone that you don't know even exists, loves you.
10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
11. When you think the world has turned it's back on you, take a look, you most likely turned your back on the world.
12. When you think you have no chance at getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, you probably sooner or later will get it.
13. Always remember complements you received, forget about the rude remarks.
14. Always tell someone how you feel about them, you will feel much better when they know
15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they're great.

TESL or not,,im just crazy over ENGLISH..ehhehe

Let's face it -- English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England nor French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweet- breads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you can comb through the annals of history but not a single annal? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another. Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a horsefull carriage or a strapfull gown? Met a sung hero or experienced requited love? Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable? And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.

i wish...

"..if life's a blackboard and i have the chalk...there are so many things that i wanted to draw right now...and if my drawing is not right..i could just erase it and start all over again.."

untitled

things dont really go the way it should be...maybe this time...i screwed up big time..call me insane but i had absolutely no other choice but to tell him how i feel..my friend said "..take it as membalas budi..u didnt answered him before....its better late or you will be feeling regret for the rest of your life.." maybe she's right...probably my intuition had blinded my sanity to think wisely...i know i would be facing the worst embarassement in my whole life....but i just had to take that risk....i dont mind what is going to happen after this...all i know is that i love this person...

going crazy....~*

Music Video Codes By VideoCodeZone

reality....

i realize by now that you cant always have what you wanted...although you waited years for it to happen...still...fate and destiny is not always by your side...maybe this fantasy of mine would only happen inside my dreams...and if that is the deal...i dont wanna wake up from this beautiful dream..please let me sleep forever ..

what do u do if you know that it wont happen...no matter how hard you wished for it....it will never come true?...how do you deal with it...like you have the chance but you choose not to take it...will you be regret it after that?...

some things are better left unsaid...i guess it is true...my fren said i might as well forget about it long before..that i could have let it go...but somehow i just cant do that...the feelings that i feel inside is so strong that it wont fade away although ive been denying it for years....

i could walk all day....smiling and cheering for everyone..but at the end of the day..i was left heart broken...regrets..i dont have one..but im glad to have him as a part of my life....

Listen To Your Heart

I know there's something in the wake of your smile
I get a notion from the look in your eyes yeah
You've built a love but that love falls apart
Your little piece of heaven turns to dark
Listen to your heart
When he's calling for you
Listen to your heart
There's nothing else you can do
I don't know where you're going
And I don't know why
But listen to your heart
Before you tell him goodbye
Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile
The precious moments are all lost in the tide yeah
They're swept away and nothing is what it seems
The feeling of belonging to your dreams
Listen to your heart
When he's calling for you Listen to your heart
There's nothing else you can do
I don't know where you're going
And I don't know why
But listen to your heart
Before....
And there are voices that want to be heard
So much to mention but you can't find the words
The scent of magic, the beauty that's been
When love was wilder than the wind
Listen to your heart (take a listen to it)
When he's calling for you
Listen to your heart (take a listen to it)
There's nothing else you can do
I don't know where you're going
And I don't know why
But listen to your heart
Before oh...
Listen to your heart (take a listen to it)
When he's calling for you
Listen to your heart (take a listen to it)
There's nothing else you can do
I don't know where you're going
And I don't know why
But listen to your heart
Before you tell him goodbye....

a stranger from the past.....

i met someone who i haven't met for the last two years...i was surprised to see him there..i didnt know that my sister's-best fren's-fiance was actually his cousin..i tried to pretend not to see him..the last time we met..he confessed his feelings for me...i didnt know what to say..i was afraid to say yes..or no...so i left him without a word..today..he stood there..looking at me..giving me that same old sweet smile....he called my name..i pretend not to hear him..again.....as if..like it was our first meeting two years ago..i pretend not to see or hear him..today i did the same thing..but that didnt stop him..he came and talked to me..it was a short conversation..but somehow i was so happy and relieved to see him..maybe because he is someone from my past..or is it because i always wanted to know where his life is heading right now..im glad i get that all my answers are finally been answered...i didnt get his number though..neither did him ask for mine..strange how fate and destiny can play with us and brought our path together once again...we will meet again..in 2 months time..24.9.2005..(hopefully)..at the wedding ceremony...then again...it's a small world after all.. ~

love just is..

When the night won't fall and the sun won't rise
And you see the best as you close your eyes
When you reach the top as you bottom out
But you understand what it's all about
Nothing's ever what it seems
In your life or in your dreams
It don't make sense, what can you do
So I won't try makin' sense of you
Love just is...
whatever it may be
Love just is...
you and me
Nothing less and nothing more
I don't know what I love you for...
love just is
When you ask to stay and then disappear
It seems you're gone but you're really here
When every move seems out of place
But every kiss is filled with grace
Some things never get defined
In your heart or in your mind
It don't make sense, what can you do
So I won't try makin sense of you
Don't ever ask me for reasons
I can't get to you
Don't ever ask me for reasons
Why I live for you...
I just do

coming clean

Let's go backBack to the beginning
Back to when the earth, the sun, the stars all aligned
Cause perfect didn't feel so perfect
Trying to fit a square into a circle
Was no life I defy
Let the rain fall down
And wake my dreams
Let it wash awayMy sanity
Cause I wanna feel the thunder
I wanna scream
Let the rain fall down
I'm coming clean,
im shedding..
Shedding every color
Trying to find a pigment of truth
Beneath my skin
Cause different
Doesn't feel so different
And going out is better
Then always staying in
Feel the wind...

i am a dreamer...

Water flows through rivers,
As it flows through my eyes,
They say Pisces dreamer,
Have lived other lives
There’s something more there,
Not something you hold in your hand,
The end of the circle,
It ends with me in eternity.
The poet and the dreamer Creating Pisces flow,
There is world that we possess,
That all of you can’t know,
There’s something more there,
I can see it clear,
Not something you hold in your hand,
The of the circle,
It ended with me in eternity,
Beyond just what you can see lies darkness,
My life it changes,
With everything around me,
Something I need to get the hell out of here,
If you are a soul in need,
If you need compassion,
I will stand up like a wall right by your side,
I can tell what others can’t tell
Yes,
I can read your mind,
Pisces belongs in another world at another time,
Neptunerules my hours,
Devoted by your side,
The heart of the Pisces soul lives through time…
Through time…

tak mungkin..

Mengartikan dirimu di dalam hatiku
Betapa ku sesali adanya dirimu
Haruskah ku bertahan demi cinta ini
Yang tak mungkin
Andaikan saja ada keteguhan hati
untuk membuka kembali jalan cinta ini
Biarkan ku menanti semua janji kita
Sampai batas waktu mengakhiri
Dan tak mungkin untuk kita bersama
Di atas perbedaan yang slamanya mengingkari
Dan tak mungkin bila ku melepasmu
Sungguh hati tak mampu
Mengertilah cintaku
Dan tak mungkin
Semestinya tak ada yang memisahkan cinta ini
Kerana hanya dirimu satu cintaku
Mengertilah cintaku
Percayalah cintaku
Apa mungkin...?

p/s: i love you..

Kuingin selalu denganmu
Kemana saja kita berdua
Seakan tiada terpisahkan
Tapi tak mungkin di saat ini
Sekarang masih banyak mimpi
Dan keinginan yang belum tercapai
Biarlah rasa rindu ini
Kita tunda tuk sementara
Tak pernah kuragu padamu
Atau curiga kau khianati aku
Kusangat percaya padamu
Seperti juga kau percaya aku
Pulanglah dulu ke rumahmu
Bagi waktumu untuk yang lain
Kuingin kau hanya untukku
Tapi tak mungkin saat ini
Sampai nanti
Sampai kita bertemu lagi...

p/s: i love you..